I have somehow sensed from the very beginning that God did not bring Jason into my life so that I could place unreasonable demands on him. Or with the intention that he would fulfill my every need. But, somehow, as completely as any one person can...he does just that. I have often struggled with understanding how he can possibly love me so well. I most definitely do not deserve the kind of husband he is. And then, God used this little treasure to open my eyes to the precious gift of a husband who knows Him:
"God alone can meet the deepest needs of our heart and when we let Him we are then free to minister to our spouse’s needs rather than manipulating them to meet our own." -Kelly Matte on the main premises of one of her favorite books, The Marriage Builder by Larry Crabb.
I always feel like I've let my husband down when he gets home from work and I haven't finished the chores, the boys are being loud/chaotic and dinner isn't even close to being on the table. He definitely appreciates a clean house and a warm meal, but those things are not ultimately what he is looking for from me. And the wife I "default to" when I allow myself to think that he deserves someone better is not the wife he needs. That wife is the product of a girl who has never been good enough....a girl who attempted to find wholeness in all of the wrong places before coming to know Jesus.
My husband needs me to love him the way God would have me love him and to graciously accept the same from him. He needs a place with me where his heart is safe and he is appreciated for the wonderful man that he is. He needs me to make time for us. Date nights when our entire world is flipped upside down are imperative. Lighting a candle and serving him his favorite apple pie after the boys are in bed is received just the same when there's a pile of laundry on the floor as when it's neatly folded and put away.
And...my boys need me to respect their father; to let him lead and not undermine the decisions he makes. They need the security of parents who really, truly love each other. And show it!
This man is my best friend, my soul mate, a precious gift from God. My highest calling (second only to my relationship with God) is to be his wife.